An Infection With Herpes That Lasts a Lifetime

Having a lifelong herpes infection has faced me with several ethical dilemmas from the beginning. It has made me think about who and when to inform. It has made me rethink my approach to interacting with those who have herpes. Since then, it has caused me to reflect on whether or not I have any duties to others in my community who don’t have herpes, and if so, what are they?

Having intercourse with other people is safe as long as you avoid having sex during outbreaks and are given warning indications when an outbreak is about to occur, as my physicians informed me when I was diagnosed with herpes. Fortunately, the information we have now is far more accurate. Every day of the year, a person with herpes is at risk of transmitting the virus. The best approach to avoid this is to use an anti-viral gel in conjunction with a condom or dental dam.

Herpes made me an irresponsible coward at the time. Because my physicians informed me I wasn’t infectious until I had outbreaks, and I was already wearing condoms, I figured I only needed to disclose that I had herpes if the relationship seemed to be serious and there would be frequent sexual contact. I was right about that. I rationalized my timidity by arguing that the harm to others was little enough for me to risk rejection since I am a herpes leper. It would be really rude of you if you followed in my footsteps. Before having intercourse, you should notify your partner that you are infected with herpes. It’s impossible to justify. I now notify prospective partners that I am infected with herpes even before we have ever had a chance to meet. It relieves the burden of herpes-related guilt that many people experience, and it seems like the proper thing to do to me.

Many individuals have told me that it’s alright to wait until a relationship develops into something serious before disclosing that you have herpes. This is a big improvement over waiting till after sex, but it’s not enough for me. If you value and respect someone, why not let them know as soon as possible so they can determine whether or not they want to put in the effort and time to get to know you better? The danger of contracting a life-threatening viral illness should be made clear before someone develops affection for you, but isn’t that what happens when you allow someone to fall in love with you blindly? It’s time to ponder it. A delay in telling someone you’re ending the relationship might lead to their continuing it when they wouldn’t have if you had informed them up front. When you inform someone early, they are more likely to appreciate your decision and admire your guts and integrity since you gave them an option.

The fact that I feel guys are less defensive of their sex partners when it comes to disclosing that they have herpes makes me more intriguing to males. You guys, please don’t have sex with anybody unless you inform them that you have herpes beforehand. Because herpes is a more physically and emotionally destructive illness for women than it is for men, and because it’s simpler for a man to transmit a woman’s herpes than for a woman to pass it to another person, don’t understate the hazards.

I am a herbalist and a homeopath, a holistic healer. My ancestors have been healers in Trinidad and Tobago, where I was born, and even farther back in Africa. As a healer, I had little interest in treating herpes until I was diagnosed with the disease and began experiencing symptoms. I wanted to turn a bad situation into a good one, so I chose to focus my practice on the holistic treatment of herpes. The Bible declares, “I will lay my foundation on the debris of a stone that the builder rejected.” All the wailers are singing about it, too.

After deciding to become a holistic virus expert, I quickly realized that I faced a tough task. Referrals are a major source of new clients for many practitioners, including the herbalists and homeopaths I know. It wasn’t going to be easy dealing with a clientele that wasn’t going to recommend it. My herpes patients don’t brag to their friends and family about how I helped them get through their outbreaks. Many of my patients haven’t notified their significant others or even their closest friends and family members that they have herpes. I’m not a business. Advertising is out of my reach at this time. Only by speaking out about my herpes work and herpes in general could I reach out to those with the disease and urge them to seek treatment from me. This pushed me to come out of the closet far more than I would have liked to have done on my own.

Somehow, I manage to put myself in precarious positions on a regular basis. It takes a lot of courage to talk to someone who has herpes about your condition. Some folks like shooting the messenger, and I have the bullet wounds to show for it. Speaking to people with herpes has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my life, and I hope that it will continue to be. Many of the herpes-afflicted individuals with whom I come into contact seem like family to me. When I was a member of a team, I had a strong sense of belonging. I’ve always had a strong connection with other black folks. Some individuals are drawn to one another when they see themselves as part of a group that is “us against the world.” My herpes pals mean the world to me. In spite of their misbehavior, I have a special place in my heart for all my herpes patients. I’m not glad I got herpes, but I’m also not sorry I did. Although the reality is painful, I have some hard-to-hear truths to share with individuals with herpes:

It’s not a free pass to unprotected sex to have a partner who also has herpes. That’s true even if you’re both infected with the same strain. Both partners may suffer from worsening herpes cases if they have unprotected sex together. Many people who have herpes don’t want to hear the word “re-inoculation,” which is what it is.

There is no way to know whether you are shedding viruses if you have herpes or cold sores since you are potentially infectious all the time. You should think about wearing a condom or dental dam along with an anti-viral gel while having sex. You should also avoid exchanging wet towels or washcloths.

Because no two individuals obtain herpes in the same manner, your experience with the virus will be unique, as will the strategies you use to cope with it on the many levels on which you will have to deal with it.

Herpes is unlikely to be cured during our lifetimes, and there are no fast fixes for the management of herpes. Creams, lotions, and essential oils cannot treat herpes on their own; a combination of topical and oral treatments is required. Managing herpes requires a change in nutrition, stress management, and sometimes the use of natural medicine or medication.

As you become older, you may not see a decrease in the number of breakouts you have. Since no two individuals are infected with herpes in exactly the same manner, other illnesses, menopause, re-inoculation by unprotected sex, and other circumstances may alter the frequency and intensity of breakouts at any time in your life-long journey with the disease.

As with genital herpes, cold-sores are highly infectious, even when there are no visible indications of infection.

Herpes increases your risk of contracting other STDs, such as HIV, cervical dysplasia, and genital warts.

Taking l-lysine every day to cure herpes is a waste of time and might really cause more damage than good. Herpes may be effectively treated with natural medicines like garlic, which have no negative effects.

The harsh fact is that neither the mainstream nor the alternative media are interested in covering the topic of herpes. They’d rather keep us in the ghetto than let us go. As a result, individuals who don’t have herpes are unable to get accurate information on herpes from reliable sources. They don’t get the truth from their churches, and young people aren’t getting adequate information about herpes from their schools. The majority of parents and older siblings fail to educate their younger siblings about herpes.

When it comes to talking to people who don’t have herpes, it’s really up to those of us who do have herpes to step up our efforts. Human population control will not be the last word from the realm of viruses. Herpes and other sexually transmitted viruses will be a major problem if we don’t figure out a way to prevent them. Herpes is a “gateway” condition, allowing any sexually transmitted virus to enter your body via your mucous membranes.

The herpes community has to be more outspoken in the media as well as in the lives of people around us. Each of you should be able to teach someone else. One for each of you.